I know I have been a little vague on Josiah treatment plan, so I thought I would be more specific.  If anyone is keeping track (ha!) Josiah’s 1st round of chemo was called ICE (Ifosfamide, Carboplatin, Etoposide).  His second was IA (Ifosfamide, Adriamycin).  His third was IA again just cut back 25%.  The truth is we’re not sure what the next step will be.  I think I might have mentioned a few times how very little is known about sarcoma’s and how to treat them.  So, we are kind of just making it up as we go.  Every sarcoma is different and reacts differently so no one can predict how Josiah’s will respond.  You would think that would bother me.  You would think that would drive me crazy.  And in some ways it does, but I’m really getting used to the “unknown”….Ava did that to me 🙂  You see, Ava’s heart defect is very rare and even her particular heart defect (TAPVR) has a couple variations and she happens to have the rarest form of it.  Ava’s third and final heart surgery didn’t even have a name.  In her medical records, the surgeon called it a “re-do”.  Oh wait, it gets better.  After that surgery, the surgeon came to talk with us and said “Well, while I was in there I decided to shoot some steroids in some places because I was like, what the heck, I might as well.” and “We are throwing the book at her.”.

(this is Ava the day after her 3rd heart surgery)

She was also put on a cocktail of drugs, just to see if they would work.  I have heard numerous times from numerous doctors “I don’t know why your daughter’s alive.  But she’s doing great!”. So you see, I’m used to the “unusual” and the “rare” and the “unknown”.  I’m used to waiting and have learned to be content with the “ignorance is bliss” concept while I have it.  Because even though I prefer to just know and not have things kept from me, I also know that you don’t always hear the news you were hoping for and you cannot “un-hear” it.  All I know is that I have been given today and what is in it is what God will give me the grace to handle.  He knows what tomorrow holds and I am content (most of the time) to trust him with it.

So, back to the “plan”.  Well….we don’t know.  But we’ll find out in due time.

Matthew 6:25-34

²⁵ “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? ²⁷ Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

²⁸ “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, ²⁹ yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. ³⁰ And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

³¹ “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ ³² These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. ³³ Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

³⁴ “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Last night, this is what we found our 7-month old doing:

Of course Daddy had to give him a little talking to:

For the record, Lincoln was crying when we went in and I think he was scared and didn’t know how to get down, but he smiles whenever he sees the camera (and I’m not kidding about that).  Little stinker!  He’s trying to grow up too fast.  I’ll write more of his latest accomplishments later 🙂

PS  Josiah continues to plug along here at home.  His platelets were down yesterday so he got a transfusion of those.  He goes back in on Wednesday to get his counts checked and he may need to get a blood transfusion then.  But we are grateful that he is still home!