Today was….better. I’m trying not to label days as “good” or “bad”, but my attitude was better and I had more patience and joy with my kids which is always a victory! My tears come at the most random moments…I’m learning not to try to predict them but just go with it. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. You have no idea what that means to me.
I needed to get out of the house today so I took the kids to Target. I made it through, although my breath felt tight toward the end (a familiar feeling these days) and I knew it was time to leave. It was tough walking by all the displays for Valentine’s day knowing that I wouldn’t be planning anything special or picking out the perfect card for my sweetie. I’ve never been big into Valentine’s day, but I did think it was just a fun thing to celebrate. We could be a pretty sappy couple….I loved that.
It’s so hard getting used to using all these past tense words. Just one of the things that I didn’t anticipate. That and how little laundry I have. I always found it amazing, when we would bring home a new baby, how much more laundry I had…the opposite is true when you lose someone. I find it hard to get the mail and see letters addressed only to me…I’m so used to my name next to his and I liked it that way. I’m still working on opening and reading all the cards that you amazing people brought to the funeral. I am so humbled and thankful! It reminds me of the last time I had a pile of cards to open…we brought our wedding cards to open on our honeymoon…good memories.
My children are amazing! They are so full of life. Plus, I defy anyone to be sad all the time with this little face around!
(I just couldn't resist these super cheap pirate jammies at Target today.)
This boy knows how to have fun, almost always has a big toothy smile on his face, is quick to let out a contagious laugh, and is very insistent when he wants attention. He does nothing half-heartedly and there are a couple things that make him literally shake from excitement…one of them is a bath and the other one is food 🙂
Ava is such a sweet heart! Today she came up to me, wrapped her arms around my neck and said “I’m taking care of you mommy”. I could just eat her!
(This was taken right after her bath tonight which is why she's not wearing her glasses)
She has times when she says she is sad and misses Daddy. We talk about heaven and she says “Daddy’s waiting for us in heaven and he will be so excited when we get there!”. Yes baby, he will. Her new phrase this week is “belly-button marshmallows”. I have no idea where that came from but it makes us laugh and actually is fun to say…go ahead, try it.
(showing her true colors. On a side note, check out how crazy long her hair is!)
I took the kids outside yesterday for a bit.
(this pic still makes me laugh!)
It was the first time that I have been able to play in the snow with Ava and since I’m a single parent now, Lincoln got to tag along. One child was very happy with the outing
and the other one was less than thrilled.
I’ll let you figure out which one was which!
The song “Great is Thy Faithfulness” has been running through my head today. It’s my favorite hymn and I sang it a lot after Ava was born. I was just marveling at the fact that God could have just said He was faithful…which would be true…but He took it a step further and said His faithfulness is GREAT! That got me thinking that whatever we think we understand about God, we can be sure He is greater, wiser, stronger, better, than we could EVER imagine! And my husband is with that God right now. What an incredible thought! Oh, how I can’t wait for the day when I will be there too.
Beautiful Things 