Conviction and balm

The Great God

O fountain of all good,

Destroy in me every lofty thought,

Break pride to pieces and scatter it to the winds,

Annihilate each clinging shred of self-righteousness,

Implant in me true lowliness of spirit,

Abase me to self-loathing and self-abhorrence,

Open in me a fount of penitential tears,

Break me, then bind me up;

Thus will my heart be a prepared dwelling for my God;

Then can the Father take up His abode in me,

Then can the blessed Jesus come with healing in His touch,

Then can the Holy Spirit descend in sanctifying grace;

O Holy Trinity, three Persons and one God,

inhabit me, a temple consecrated to Thy glory.

When Thou art present, evil cannot abide;

In Thy fellowship is fullness of joy,

Beneath Thy smile is peace of conscience,

By Thy side no fears disturb,

no apprehensions banish rest of mind,

With Thee my heart shall bloom with fragrance;

Make me meet, through repentance, for Thine indwelling.

Nothing exceeds Thy power,

Nothing is too great for Thee to do,

Nothing too good for Thee to give.

Infinite is Thy might, boundless Thy love,

limitless Thy grace, glorious Thy saving name.

Let angels sing for sinners repenting, prodigals restored,

backsliders reclaimed, Satan’s captives released,

blind eyes opened, broken hearts bound up,

the despondent cheered, the self-righteous stripped,

the formalist driven from a refuge of lies,

the ignorant enlightened,

and saints built up in their holy faith.

I ask great things of a great God.

-The Valley of Vision

Hits home doesn’t it?  I know it is convicting to me every time I read it.  Just recently have I started reading this book and I am loving it!

The Valley of vision: a collection of Puritan prayers and devotions [Book]

There is also a beautiful CD based on this book that has so ministered to my soul.

Valley of Vision CD

Such deep yet simple truths…oh how my soul is craving just that.

This is love…

I wrote this before Josiah died and I never had a chance to finish it….but I’m publishing it anyway.  I thought it would be appropriate to publish it today because today was a very special day for us.  Six years ago today Josiah got on one knee and asked me to marry him.  I would say yes again in a heart-beat.

When I was young (and I know what some of you are thinking “she’s only 25”, but hear me out), my idea of love was that it was about getting flowers and going on picnics and planning special dates.  And don’t get me wrong, I still think that those are special ways to show love.  But, my idea of love has grown and changed over the past 5 years.  Now, love to me is when my husband tells me I’m beautiful after I’ve been up with the baby all night and haven’t showered in days-that’s love.  Or when my husband tenderly lifts his daughter out of bed in the middle of the night and gently washes the puke out of her hair-that’s love.  Or the way my husband seeks to provide for his family-that’s love.  Or when my husband makes the bed even though he can barely walk-that’s love.  Or when my husband, with his only small burst of energy of the day takes my hand and we dance in our living room, cane and all, while he sings his version of  “You’re still the one that I love, the only one I dream of, you’re still the one I kiss good-night” (I love his random song choices)-that’s love.

Even though Josiah never got to read that…he already knew that was how I felt.  Josiah showed his love to me in countless little ways every day.  And because of all the things that he planned ahead, in a lot of ways, he still is.  He cherished me, he challenged me, he took care of me.  I will forever love him for that.

“[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails.”  1 Corinthians 13:7-8