I’ve been on a “I need to organize my life” kick today.  I know myself well enough to go with it because it won’t last long 🙂  This mood is largely due to my saintly mother taking my kids for the night last night and for today.  Which means I got an amazing 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep, a shower as long as the hot water lasted as I wanted, got ready for the day with no one screaming at me, cleaned my room (trust me, that was a MAJOR accomplishment), and went out to lunch just me and my journal with my ear phones in my ears, alone with my thoughts.  Plus, I ran a couple of errands and was able to peruse to my heart’s content.  That, my friends, is pure bliss for this Mama!  And trust me, it was needed.  I don’t know why I let myself get to the point where I’m so tired and frustrated and frazzled before I wave my white flag and give myself a break.  I know I need to be better about that.  Because the truth is, this single parenting gig is getting harder, not easier.  Grief is still very much present and I’m still surprised by how taxing it is on my body.  And while it’s good for me to look back and see how far I’ve come, I also need to still be gentle with myself and remember I’m still in healing mode.

So, I made time to lie down and be still, and I made time to knock some items off my sometimes overwhelming to-do list, and I took some steps forward to getting organized.  I told my Mom tonight that I felt like I did more in an hour with the kids gone than I usually accomplish in an entire day!  I’m feeling refreshed and ready to put my Mommy hat on again.  Oh, and I’ll let you know if “Operation organize my life” pans out…I wouldn’t hold your breath 🙂