Month: December 2012

Crazy!

/ heartmomma / 4 Comments

I’m finally starting to feel more energetic these days.  And by energetic I mean I don’t feel like I could shut my eyes and fall immediately to sleep every second of every day!

So, I told the kids today that all mom’s like to have nice pictures of their kids…not sure why, we just do…so we were going to go out and attempt it and it would be a super amazing gift to me if they would cooperate.  They did surprisingly well with that pep-talk, and we had a good time and got some decent photos too!

I realize dressing up four kids and taking them out in public to take pictures…by myself…is a little crazy.  And by a little, I mean a LOT!  But, I never claimed I wasn’t crazy 🙂  And who knows…maybe I’ll be even more crazy and actually get out Christmas cards this year!  But I’m kinda exhausted…so I’ll think about that another day.

Here are some outtakes from our photo shoot…but I think they may actually be my favorites 🙂

IMG_4186

This one was my fault…I asked them if they were excited for Christmas. Apparently that’s code for jumping.

IMG_4189IMG_4198IMG_4228

IMG_4201

Took this one and then told her it was time for one showing her teeth!

IMG_4212

She looks too old in this pic!

IMG_4215

Attempting his tough guy look…but he couldn’t stop smiling 🙂

She's all like "Look Mom, isn't this funny!" and I'm all like "Ummm, yea it is! Let me take a picture and then for pete sake, fix your eyes cause I've paid good money to keep them straight!"

She’s all like “Look Mom, isn’t this funny!” and I’m all like “Ummm, yea it is! Let me take a picture and then for pete sake, fix your eyes cause I’ve paid good money to keep them straight!”

IMG_4266

For the next three months their ages are: 7, 6, 5, 4….whew! Crazy!

IMG_4267IMG_4268IMG_4269The end.

What God’s Up To

/ heartmomma / 6 Comments

I have tried and failed to find words to describe the last eight months.  I’m still not sure if I can, but I’m going to try.  These past months of adjusting to being a family of six have been…hard.  How’s that for being eloquent?  There have been plenty of amazing joys along the way for sure!  But the life of jumping head first into being the mommy of four very needy and hurting and confused kids?  Yea…that part has been hard.  Most of the time I feel so overwhelmed by the tremendous needs that face my every moment.  I don’t feel qualified.  I don’t feel able.  I don’t feel like enough.  Sometimes those feelings can so overwhelm my soul.  My wise Mom is quick to remind me that I didn’t choose this, but that God chose it for me as part of His perfect plan and I just responded with “yes”.  And my dear husband is quick to reaffirm my doubting heart that I am meant to be all of these kid’s mom.  So…I keep going.  The days have gotten easier in a lot of ways as we have all adjusted.  My husband is less likely to find me in a corner dissolved in tears these days!  I take that as progress 🙂

At the beginning of the summer I thought in no way could I even consider homeschooling this year.  I was barely functioning as “mom”, much less adding on “teacher” on top of that!  God slowly changed my heart and showed me that being home this year was what we all needed.  I needed to keep building on what we had started…and I needed to keep growing and stretching too.  Two days into the school year, I found out I was pregnant.  Overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.  Defeated.  Deflated.  And I felt so guilty for feeling those things on top of it.  But, what on earth was God asking of me?  To give up all?  Well…yes.  Because nothing screams sacrifice like motherhood.  So in the middle of preparing to welcome a small selfish incredible blessing…I’m attempting to teach four very self-centered blessings to deny self…and at the same time, God is teaching me the same lesson.

I can feel the refining fire that I am in.  Sometimes I just want to be out of it…but I also know there is still much that I have to learn in it.  God is taking my small view of love…true sacrificial, unconditional love…and He is expanding it to look more like what His really is.  And…it is hard.  I just pray that when I come out, that all of me will be gone…and all that remains is Christ!

“so that the tested genuineness of your faith – more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”  1 Peter 1:7