• In thinking about Mother’s Day about a month ago, I purposed in my heart that I would not feel sorry for myself.  Yes, Josiah will not be here to make my day special (because let’s face it, my kids are currently CLUELESS!)…but that doesn’t mean that I should wallow in self-pity.  Will it be tough?  Yeah, probably…but I can make the most of it.  So, I decided to just buy myself something special…and being a female, I chose jewelry 🙂  There was a “mommy” necklace” I had been eyeing for a while and I just felt like Josiah would say “Honey, just buy it for yourself”…ok, maybe not….but he probably would 🙂  Anyway, I ordered it and it came a couple of weeks ago.

(it's hard to see but each disc has one of the kids names and their birth-stone and I added a pearl for my baby Grace in heaven)

I LOVE it!  It’s just what I wanted.  Of course it was a little bitter/sweet receiving it…but that’s for another post.

• I also bought myself a pair of shoes…you know, for Mother’s day 🙂  Aren’t they ca-ute!

• After much debate, I took my wedding ring off yesterday. It was time.  I had been debating this for months in my head, wondering what to do.  I consulted “Widow’s for Dummies”….oh wait…there is no such manual.  I decided that it’s just one of those things that each widow (or widower) has to decided for themselves.  I felt like I was lying having it on…but I also felt like I was lying taking it off.  I still absolutely LOVE it.  Josiah had it made for me and painstakingly picked out each diamond himself.  I didn’t like the idea of just putting it away, so I am wearing it on my right hand.  I’m still getting used to it.  I feel lop-sided and I still try to play with it on my left hand.  But at least for now, it’s the right thing for me.

• Remember when I mentioned the first time I cleaned my bathroom after Josiah died?  Well…I have yet to wash my sheets.  I know…gross.  But I just haven’t made the time to do it…and I’m sure there is some sentimental reasons mixed in there too.  Like I have said before, I have started a whole new life and that includes re-learning how to do some of the most basic tasks.  And also finding a different motivation to do them then for my husband.

• While we are on the subject.  I still only sleep on “my” side of the bed.  There is usually a stack of pillows on the other side.  That started off as a comfort measure as it made the bed not feel so empty…now it’s just habit.

• I changed my facebook relationship status from “Married” to “Widowed”…ugh.  I wanted to put a giant “dislike” after it.  That may not seem like that big of a deal, but it was hard and something that had been weighing on me to do.  There are lots of things like that.

• I am seriously looking into some changes (and a face-lift) for my blog…stay tuned 🙂

OK, so not all of those are confessions…oh well 🙂