Author: heartmomma

Comfortable

/ heartmomma / 6 Comments

I like to be comfortable.  I don’t like to be cold or hot.  Last week the temperature was in the 50’s and I will admit that I turned my furnace back on…and it wasn’t because of the children even though I may have used them as an excuse.  I don’t like to be hot either…which may be part of the reason why I don’t like to exercise.  I like to be comfortable.  Who doesn’t right?  But I can become consumed with being comfortable…it can become number one priority.  Being comfortable can start to dictate my life…I can’t go there because it’s too cold, or I can’t do that because I might get too hot.  Why am I telling you all this?  I’m glad you asked 🙂  I’m telling you this because this whole obsession with being comfortable can soooo be my spiritual life too.  Being hot for God is great…but it’s tiring.  Being cold is definitely not a pleasant place to be.  But sometimes I just want to coast.  To take it easy.  To be comfortable.  To just live life and not think too much about what God wants me to do every second of every day.  Now, this doesn’t usually happen on purpose.  I don’t just up and decide one day to be lazy in my walk with God.  Life happens.  Stuff happens and before I know it…my joy is gone.  My tenderness to His leading is gone.  And then I do have to make a conscious choice to get back in the heat.  To humble myself, ask for His mercy, and seek to listen and obey.  I found myself in that place last week (although, it can happen multiple times a day) and you know what?  God was still right there and exactly the same…waiting for me to surrender yet again.  It takes effort to stay in that Spirit led walk…and it’s not always comfortable (at least according to my definition).  He leads me to do things that I don’t want to do…things that make me…uncomfortable.  But the funny thing is…it’s the place where He brings me peace and joy, and it’s the place that I find…the God of all comforts.  Ironic, right?  So, I find again and again and again that the life that I thought would be comfortable…isn’t.  But the life that is wholly surrendered to my Savior…ahhhh, like a cool summer breeze…comfortable (according to God’s definition).

“So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.” Revelation 3:16

“Oh, send out Your light and Your truth!  Let them lead me; Let them bring me to Your holy hill And to Your tabernacle.  Then I will go to the altar of God, To God my exceeding joy; And on the harp I will praise You, O God, my God.”  Psalm 43:3-4

Blessed day

/ heartmomma / 6 Comments

At our house, only God is “awesome“…and oh man, is He ever!  I just had to start this post by saying that.  He has shown Himself to me in so many ways today and my heart is so thankful.  Today marks 3 months since Josiah went to heaven.  Like I’ve said before, I try not to keep too close track of anniversaries…but this one is hard to miss.  Lincoln was born on the 3rd (of December) so it also marks another month older for him…another month without his Daddy…another month that Josiah has enjoyed Paradise…another month that the Lord’s grace has brought us through.  3 months.  It seems like a lot for some reason and I think it was weighing heavier on my heart than I thought because God humbled me with all His blessings today.  I had a funeral to attend this morning for a dear woman from my church who died after a long hard battle with cancer.  She leaves behind a husband and a 5-yr-old son.  My heart was so tender for them.  But no sooner had I walked through the door of the church this morning, when people started coming up to ME, hugging ME, and saying they were praying for ME today.  I was so humbled and moved by that.  God used them to show me His love.  Then, during the memorial service, Pastor shared a story of how this woman reached out to Josiah after he was diagnosed with cancer just a year ago.  She had been through the trenches already and she was anxious to encourage him….us.  I did not know Pastor was going to share that story and I almost lost it…but then I was thankful to hear about my husband.  His memory lives on.  I also had to chuckle later when I thought about how Josiah and I used to joke about how many Sunday’s in a row his name was mentioned in a sermon.  He never sought that attention.  Both of us are, by nature, quiet people.  We lived a simple, quiet life and were content with that.  God had other plans.

Anyway, God showed Himself in other ways today also…I saw Him in sweet moments with my children, in Him allowing me time to rest (I’m still not 100% recovered from the flu last week, although I was able to attend church on Sunday), flowers sent by some dear family, hugs, encouragement, time spent outside, news of an answered prayer….it was a grace filled day.  Of course I had moments that were heavy with loneliness for my beloved…but it’s the joy that’s mixed in that makes it bearable.  I know there were many that were praying for me today…thank you.  They make a difference.  I am blessed.