Ava

Happy Birthday Ava!

/ heartmomma / 10 Comments

Dear Miss Ava,

You are my Sweetheart and four years ago today you made my dreams come true by making me a Mommy.  It’s what I always wanted to be.  You rocked your Daddy and my world…in a good way. 04-02 Ava and Mommy by you.

You amaze me, you challenge me, you make me laugh, you make me proud.  You are my little daughter and I couldn’t ask for a better one.  We have always had a special bond, you and I.  From the moment we first locked eyes, I felt like I could read your thoughts.  Maybe it’s because I wasn’t able to hold you very much as a baby so we didn’t really bond physically, we bonded on a different level.  I always felt that even as an infant you understood what I was saying.  You would stare so intently into my eyes it felt like you could see into my very soul.  You just understood things that a baby shouldn’t understand.  You had some rough days…some really rough days…but you still had such a sweet spirit and such a zest for life. You are curious, you are compassionate, you are stubborn, you are loving, you are sensitive, you are tough as nails, you are smart, you think deeply, you are silly 🙂  You are a treasure, you are a gift, you are greatly loved both in heaven and here on earth.  God has put a lot on your plate little one, but He does nothing without a purpose.  He has an AMAZING plan for you…and I know that for a fact.  He never promised that this life would be easy…but He did promise to be there every step of the way.  God loves you with an everlasting love.  He loves you so much that He sent His beloved Son to die for you.  He wants to spend eternity with you.  He knows everything about you and He made you just the way you are.  God has given you a gift of touching people’s lives…I see it happen every day.  Be obedient to Him and He will use you in incredible ways.  I can’t wait to watch!

I love you my Sweetie Muffin!  Happy 4th Birthday!

Love, Mom

For more of Ava’s story click here.

For Ava’s life in pictures click here.

Prayer

/ heartmomma / 34 Comments

I could use your prayers this week.  Every week has it’s challenges…but I’ve been dreading this week a little for a number of reasons.  Ava’s birthday is on Saturday…and we are going to celebrate big time and have a ton of fun (more on that later).  But it doesn’t seem right somehow that she should be turning four without her Daddy there.  Josiah and I had a conversation sometime in December about what each of us were thinking about Josiah’s future…how much time we thought he had.  His long term goal was to make it to his baby girl’s birthday…but we both knew he probably would not.  He loved her SO much and was SO incredibly proud of her.  He made such a big deal of everything that little girl accomplished…because it was such a big deal.  I have this memory of when Ava was three weeks old and Josiah was holding her.  Ava lifted up her little head all by herself…and I will never forget the look of absolute pride and joy Josiah had on his face.  He insisted that I take a picture.04/20/06 by you.

Everything she did was an answer to prayer. When she was so sick in the hospital, Josiah was my rock.  He would go into Ava’s room for long periods of time just to be near his baby and watch out for her.  It was SO hard on him to not be able to protect her….SO hard.  But he was steady.  He never wavered.  For Ava’s first night (in the NICU), Josiah spent the entire night with her and would come back to my room to check on me and give me updates.  When we were first given the news of her heart defect…Josiah wept…I have never seen him so broken.  But he took care of all of us.  When we brought Ava home, Josiah surprised me by staying up most of the night before to paint Ava’s room…and then he slept on the floor by her crib just to make sure she was ok.  I miss having him here to remember with.

Ava also has her cardiology check-up on Friday.  I can think of maybe two cardio appointments that Josiah did NOT make it to.  He usually found a way to be there.  This time he won’t.  I have no reason to think that anything has changed with Ava’s heart…but would you pray for mine.  I can’t even describe how much I leaned on Josiah for Ava’s needs in particular.  We prayed together, made decisions together, worried together, asked questions together.  God is in control…I believe that with everything in me…but I am just torn up about this.  I could use the prayers of the saints to lift me up this week and I’m so thankful that I can ask.