The Great God

O fountain of all good,

Destroy in me every lofty thought,

Break pride to pieces and scatter it to the winds,

Annihilate each clinging shred of self-righteousness,

Implant in me true lowliness of spirit,

Abase me to self-loathing and self-abhorrence,

Open in me a fount of penitential tears,

Break me, then bind me up;

Thus will my heart be a prepared dwelling for my God;

Then can the Father take up His abode in me,

Then can the blessed Jesus come with healing in His touch,

Then can the Holy Spirit descend in sanctifying grace;

O Holy Trinity, three Persons and one God,

inhabit me, a temple consecrated to Thy glory.

When Thou art present, evil cannot abide;

In Thy fellowship is fullness of joy,

Beneath Thy smile is peace of conscience,

By Thy side no fears disturb,

no apprehensions banish rest of mind,

With Thee my heart shall bloom with fragrance;

Make me meet, through repentance, for Thine indwelling.

Nothing exceeds Thy power,

Nothing is too great for Thee to do,

Nothing too good for Thee to give.

Infinite is Thy might, boundless Thy love,

limitless Thy grace, glorious Thy saving name.

Let angels sing for sinners repenting, prodigals restored,

backsliders reclaimed, Satan’s captives released,

blind eyes opened, broken hearts bound up,

the despondent cheered, the self-righteous stripped,

the formalist driven from a refuge of lies,

the ignorant enlightened,

and saints built up in their holy faith.

I ask great things of a great God.

-The Valley of Vision

Hits home doesn’t it?  I know it is convicting to me every time I read it.  Just recently have I started reading this book and I am loving it!

There is also a beautiful CD based on this book that has so ministered to my soul.

Such deep yet simple truths…oh how my soul is craving just that.

Today was not pretty.  I would describe myself as a mess today.  I am finding grief to be highly unpredictable.  I woke up feeling so lost and alone…and I’ve been crying much of the day and unable to stop.  I sobbed, curled up on the bathroom floor, for a long time this morning unable to even “do the next thing”…which was getting my kids out of bed.  I felt so weak and helpless…struggling to gain some control.  Eventually I did force myself up and was able to get the kids ready for the day…but I knew I wouldn’t be able to care for them, so I had my mom come pick them up for the day.  That made me cry more….remembering all the times this past year when I had to send them away…I hated doing that…I hated that sad/confused look on Ava’s face…but I knew it was needed for all of us.  I stayed home…read my Bible…prayed…listened to some music…took a nap…watched a movie…sent some e-mails…listened to a sermon…had a couple visitors…and cried…a lot.  Apparently, I needed some concentrated time to grieve…so I took it.  This is very like me…to go and go and go and just crash.  I crashed big time today…and I’m letting myself be ok with that.  God has shown Himself to me in a variety of ways today.  He knows the extent of my pain better than I know myself and He is here with me.  So…yes, I felt the floor drop out from under me today…but do you know who was there waiting to catch me?  The loving arms of my Savior (Deut.33:27).