Praise Him

God has blessed me with a couple of victories in the past couple weeks. I recognized them, but then life kept bustling on. I was convicted the other day to really stop and spend some time giving heartfelt thanks and also just giving space in my busyness for remembering the goodness of God.

I’m reading through 2 Kings as part of my devotions and one thing I see over and over is forgetfulness. Not stopping to remember and give praise and dwell on God’s provision and grace. And in looking at my own life, I was seeing the same patterns. So, I don’t want to just write down my struggles and failings…but document the victories too!

The first victory I saw was in our son Weston.IMG_3005 Now, Weston is six but he has the eating skills more of a toddler. It’s a long story as to how this came to be a struggle (I wrote about some of it here), but it’s been a constant battle. One particular battle has been in getting him to eat chicken nuggets. I know…not the most nutritious battle, but God has used this struggle to humble my heart big time in my ideas of being a “good” mom. Anyway, I have been trying and not succeeding or even making progress in this battle for at least a year (probably longer). I had laid aside this particular battle for a while now. Until, I decided to “randomly” buy some chicken nuggets last week. But now I know that wasn’t random, but a prompting from God. Because I put not one but TWO chicken nuggets in front of my son and for the first time EVER, he ate every. single. bite. He even dipped them in ketchup and declared that he liked them (HIGH praise from our Weston)…and then, he requested them for lunch the next day! That is absolutely unheard of from this kid! And that part of my mind and heart that is devoted to thinking/worrying/praying about Weston’s eating, relaxed a bit. This is a HUGE victory and a HUGE blessing!

The second victory is more of a personal battle. I mentioned before that I sometimes struggle with anxiety and I’m slowly starting to learn and acknowledge some of my triggers. Well, one of them is doctors offices…or even calling them to make appointments. I’ve ignored this for years. But my kids are all (over) due for check-ups. One thing that I have started to realize just recently, is that the huge upside to acknowledging (instead of ignoring) my struggles is that I can PRAY about them and trust God IN them. You might be saying, “duh Jess”…but it’s been a transforming lesson for me. Anyway, so I started praying and I called and made the appointments (side note, making doctors appointments for five kids with two last names is a real treat {sarcasm}). Then, I started praying about the appointments. Specifically, that God would calm my heart. I’ve never necessarily had a panic attack in relation to a doctors appointment…but I get really tightly wound beforehand and then exhausted afterwards. IMG_3420My boys had their appointment earlier this week and I was just trusting God with whatever happened. If my body went into panic mode or not. But God, in His kindness, brought such peace to my heart, mind, and body with so many tiny details working together, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt no panic or exhaustion. Praise God! And even if it’s different next time, I want to remember this time and praise Him no matter what. Because ALL the glory goes to Him!IMG_0082

“Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory, for the sake of Your steadfast love and Your faithfulness! Why should the nations say, ‘Where is their God?’ Our God is in the heavens; He does all that He pleases.” Psalm 115:1-3

 

 

Perfect

This may come as a surprise to you but…wait for it…I am NOT a perfect mother.

I drop the ball.

For example, I took Weston to an allergy doctor this morning. I had planned ahead. The diaper bag was packed with all my baby tricks (toys, extra bottle, diapers, etc…). I had looked over my directions to make sure I knew where I was going. I had the baby carrier in the van.  I had filled out the paperwork they had sent me and it was safely packed in said diaper bag. I had my coffee in hand and I had actually eaten breakfast.  We left on time and got there 20 minutes early. Which is unheard of for me as I am notoriously late.  We are the family that is late for church…for the late service.

Anyway…so I had all my ducks in a row right? So far anyway. I found a good parking spot.  Weston was happily babbling in his car seat.   But, I took one more sip of coffee and reached down to grab my diaper bag and discovered that I had left my diaper bag at home.  By the back door.  With my insurance card and my ID.

Yep.

Didn’t have time to go home and it would take months to get another appointment.  Awesome.

Thankfully, everything worked out fine.  But I hate those moments when I “fail”.  When I feel like a “bad mommy”.

But do you know who didn’t care?  My son.  All he cared about was that I was there for him.  To wipe his tears and make him feel secure. That’s all. He wasn’t looking for perfect…he just wanted his mom.IMG_6003

A good lesson for me to remember.

Last Sunday was a typical crazy, rushed morning and we were typically late. Singing had already begun and my heart and mind were distracted.

I was trying to get focused on what I was singing about but one of my kids (who shall remain nameless) was being repeatedly disobedient and after repeatedly correcting said child, I was frustrated. How could I sing when I was not focused and having peaceful thoughts? How could I worship when it didn’t feel like I was offering something perfect?

Wait a minute…there’s something wrong here.

And God tugged on my heart in that moment.

When have I ever offered “perfect” worship?

When has God ever required perfect worship?

Answer – never.

So, in that moment I offered up my distracted and frustrated heart to worship God and I found no condemnation.

Only acceptance.

I was humbled in that moment to think that this honesty was more worshipful than any false perfection…scratch that…pride that I could offer.

How many times have I told others that God wants us to come as we are and here I was needing to believe it for myself.

I do love when I can put all my attention to corporate worship. I love it!

But that is no more of a sweet aroma than when I come with an honest…albeit distracted…heart.

Because when I honestly acknowledge my imperfections, that’s when I can fully experience God’s PERFECT grace.

And that’s so much better than putting on the facade of perfection.