Perfect

This may come as a surprise to you but…wait for it…I am NOT a perfect mother.

I drop the ball.

For example, I took Weston to an allergy doctor this morning. I had planned ahead. The diaper bag was packed with all my baby tricks (toys, extra bottle, diapers, etc…). I had looked over my directions to make sure I knew where I was going. I had the baby carrier in the van.  I had filled out the paperwork they had sent me and it was safely packed in said diaper bag. I had my coffee in hand and I had actually eaten breakfast.  We left on time and got there 20 minutes early. Which is unheard of for me as I am notoriously late.  We are the family that is late for church…for the late service.

Anyway…so I had all my ducks in a row right? So far anyway. I found a good parking spot.  Weston was happily babbling in his car seat.   But, I took one more sip of coffee and reached down to grab my diaper bag and discovered that I had left my diaper bag at home.  By the back door.  With my insurance card and my ID.

Yep.

Didn’t have time to go home and it would take months to get another appointment.  Awesome.

Thankfully, everything worked out fine.  But I hate those moments when I “fail”.  When I feel like a “bad mommy”.

But do you know who didn’t care?  My son.  All he cared about was that I was there for him.  To wipe his tears and make him feel secure. That’s all. He wasn’t looking for perfect…he just wanted his mom.IMG_6003

A good lesson for me to remember.

Last Sunday was a typical crazy, rushed morning and we were typically late. Singing had already begun and my heart and mind were distracted.

I was trying to get focused on what I was singing about but one of my kids (who shall remain nameless) was being repeatedly disobedient and after repeatedly correcting said child, I was frustrated. How could I sing when I was not focused and having peaceful thoughts? How could I worship when it didn’t feel like I was offering something perfect?

Wait a minute…there’s something wrong here.

And God tugged on my heart in that moment.

When have I ever offered “perfect” worship?

When has God ever required perfect worship?

Answer – never.

So, in that moment I offered up my distracted and frustrated heart to worship God and I found no condemnation.

Only acceptance.

I was humbled in that moment to think that this honesty was more worshipful than any false perfection…scratch that…pride that I could offer.

How many times have I told others that God wants us to come as we are and here I was needing to believe it for myself.

I do love when I can put all my attention to corporate worship. I love it!

But that is no more of a sweet aroma than when I come with an honest…albeit distracted…heart.

Because when I honestly acknowledge my imperfections, that’s when I can fully experience God’s PERFECT grace.

And that’s so much better than putting on the facade of perfection.

 

Our 1 year old

IMG_5777This boy turned 1-year-old last week and I’m still trying to wrap my mind around that!  I’ve been so blessed by this sweet boy.  More than I can find words for.

I love love love this age!  His little personality is coming through and he loves making us all laugh.  He fits right in with all the other hams in this family!  He’s pretty quiet and reserved in new situations but he can make some noise when he chooses.  He is very curious about the outdoors and loves to go on walks.  He’s such a sweet little boy!IMG_5733

We have been searching for answers for some weird food issues Weston has.  I started solid foods with him at 6 months and at first he did fine with them.  But after trying a couple of things he started a pattern.  2 hours after eating he would start vomiting and then continue every 10-15 minutes for several hours becoming more tired and lethargic as time went on.  The next day he’s perfectly happy and fine.  Anyway, we are still on the hunt for answers and for foods Weston can tolerate.  We’ve seen several doctors and run a bunch of tests…some of them a little scary…but they have all come back negative.  Which is a good thing!  Meanwhile our little 17 pound peanut is otherwise healthy and active…now if he would sleep through the night!IMG_5768

Taking Weston to all his appointments has brought back so many memories.  Some good…some not.  I have had to work through some tears and I’ve had to come to terms with having yet one more child with some medical issues.  And in the end I’ve had to lay it all down and rest in the fact that God has this too.IMG_5747

Weston,

From the moment I held you and looked into your eyes for the first time…my heart swelled with so much love for you!  You are the best surprise I have ever received.  I love your little grins and your rare but infectious giggles.  You can pretty much bat those killer blue eyes at anyone around here and get exactly what you want.  I love your curios and yet suspicious nature.  I love to listen to your babbling and I love to watch you explore and play.  I love all the funny little games we play…and that you expect everyone else to know them too.  I love your fuzzy little head and I’m hoping those are curls growing!

You are such a blessing baby boy.  I love you Chicken.IMG_5715Love,

Mom