I got up early today and made the trek to Des Moines because Ava had an eye appointment that I needed to get to. We had already rescheduled once and I just needed to be there. I actually enjoyed the drive. I was alone with God and my cup of coffee for two hours and I don’t remember the last time that happened. I spent the first hour just pouring my heart to God. There was a lot of on my heart, but mostly I prayed for my children. I was just thinking about Ava’s eye appointment (she’s been wearing glasses since she was 18-months and had eye surgery last spring) and just thanking God for those precious eyes. I honestly don’t know how Ava sees the world, but I was thanking God for her joyful perspective and I was asking God to never let that change. Praying that no matter what she is told, that she would see the world through God’s eyes. That she would turn her eyes upon Jesus. That she would be careful what her eyes see. That Jesus would be her vision. And yes, I think (and pray) in song a lot! I prayed that my son would be a Daniel. Completely devoted to God no matter his circumstances. That he would be a protector for his sister and that he would seek wise council. I prayed fervently for their future spouses and you know the thing about that is I could have been praying for one of your sons or daughters. I think that is so cool! Oh, I prayed for so many things for my children. That they would walk in truth all of their days. That they would humble themselves before God and acknowledge their need for Him. And on and on and on. I prayed a lot of mighty big things for them…but I was praying to my Mighty Big God who is able to do more than I could ask or imagine. It was a precious time of pouring my heart out to God, letting the tears run freely.
Ava’s appointment went great and it worked out that Josiah’s Dad could stay with him tonight so I am spending time with Ava at my in-laws house. Josiah is coming home tomorrow (Yay!), so I will have some time to get things ready for him. Yes, my heart is divided in several different places right now…but God knows that. I am thankful that I am able to spend some one-on-one time with my daughter and that is needed right now. God is so good, even when times are hard. I am thankful tonight for His faithfulness and His leading.
Beautiful Things 
I love reading your posts, Jess. I learn from every one of them. God has used you in my life. I appreciate immensely all you say and share. We continue to pray for all of you.
Hi Jess, I couldn’t agree with Marcia’s comments more. God has blessed you with a wisdom beyond your years. It also makes me think of your parents and how they must have prayed the same prayers for you at one time. I hope you know what a blessing you and your precious family are to us through all of this. Sounds funny to say that, as though we’re the ones experiencing some trial. But we just praise God for your perspective and we are praying for Josaih’s healing, but also for you two to have wisdom in each and every decision.
Again Jess- you are a huge encouragement/blessing/example/conviction,etc,etc!! Such a reminder to me of how I need to be praying for me kids so much more fervantly. Thanks again for all the updates-i check daily and am praying for wonders from above! You know He can do so much more than we can ask or imagine-sometimes it just come in much different ways that we do not expect…