Christmas was bitter/sweet. We were blessed with some really precious time as a family and also with our parents and siblings as well. The kids especially had a blast as usual 🙂 I know that all of this affects them…but they are clueless most of the time which is such a blessing and distraction. Josiah was able to get special gifts for all his siblings and for Ava as well on top of our normal Christmas shopping. He wasn’t sure he would be up for getting it all done, but God blessed him with the strength to complete it.
I called Hospice on Christmas Eve morning and they came out that day and set Josiah up with oxygen and a nebulizer. They were very sweet and wonderful just like everyone said they would be and I am grateful for their support. I just had a really hard time making that phone call. It’s not something I ever thought I would have to do.
Josiah’s lungs are getting worse by the day. We hope that things stabilize…but if things continue to get worse like they are, Josiah’s days here on earth are limited. I have peace in KNOWING without a doubt that my Love will be Home soon. His real home that was made perfect for him. He will be loved completely, in no more pain, and best of all…he will finally see Jesus face to face! I’m so excited for him!
That said, I have a pain and an ache in my heart that cannot be described. I am trying to treasure in my heart all the sweet and precious conversations we have had lately. I refuse to let myself have any regrets. God’s timing is perfect and even though all I want is more time with my husband, I wouldn’t trade the amazing 5 years I have enjoyed with him for anything.
So, I am putting one foot in front of the other. Loving on and caring for my husband is a privilege. I am so thankful for him.
PS We are telling everyone this. If you have something that you wish to share with Josiah or something you want to tell him, now is your time. He is starting to need more meds to help control his pain so he is sleeping more and more. I don’t know what his timeline is. Only God knows that. I can only tell you what I know.
Beautiful Things 
Merry Christmas (a little late) to the Johnson Family! 🙂 Looks like you guys had some awesome experiences! 🙂 The thing I would like most to say to both of you is that you have been an unbelievable blessing to my life! I love you all (even though I’ve only met one of you!) & you are often in my thoughts & prayers. Thanks for letting Jesus shine through you…. You are such a blessing to me!!!! Tabitha
Oh, Jess, I am praying for you and Josiah! It looks like you had a great Christmas with his family! Love you! ~Grantie Ru
What a beautiful family picture. After spending a few days with you on Captiva, I can just hear the little voices of Ava and Lincoln. What a precious family God has put together! I check my emails and your website every half hour, feeling that’s the best way to stay on top of how you are doing and how best to continue praying. You are greatly loved and admired – and endlessly prayed for. Much much love! Pat
Our prayers are with you tonight–for comfort and joy–just as Our Lord brought to earth through His birth. We love you very much.
Hey Josiah! Just got done praying with Denver for you. He is able to relate a little because he uses a nebulizer too. I know that one positive thing in all of this is the teaching opportunity it has been for us. I will miss our lunches together and the open, honest, transparent talks we’ve had. I continue to pray for healing as I know God can do anything. Let me know if I can do anything for your or your family!
Oh Jess! I am praying for you. I’m so glad you had a wonderful Christmas. I pray that your remaining days with Josiah are sweet and full of fantastic memories. I love you!
Josiah, I was the riding instructor for a time for Aubrie and Bethany. I remember so distinctly what a wonderful big brother you were for Bethany by sitting so patiently through an awards banquet. You didn’t know any of us or really care about the horse stuff, but you were kind and smiled proudly of Bethany when she stepped up for her award. Not many teenage guys would be so gracious.
I’ve followed the stories of Ava and now you. Your precious Jesse writes with the faith of no one I’ve ever known. The faith of your family has reached and enhanced the lives of many. May God be with you and your loving family.
I remember how your good mom Mary always signed her e-mails with the closing of “in His grip”. That has stayed with me, and MUST stay with you through this trying time.
In His grip,
Renae VZ
Dear Josiah and Jessica,
We love you so much and even though our hearts are aching, we are so happy to have spent that special Morning at your house.
You are both special to the Lord. His ways we do not know but we accept His Holy will.
God’s Blessing on you.
Grandma Elaine and Grandpa Al.
I am so sorry for the pain and sorrow you are going through. My husband died last year at 45, he fought cancer for 2 years.
Tom had said that he wouldn’t wish all this on anyone yet he wouldn’t have wanted to miss it either. God did incredible things in all of our lives through the pain and suffering. He was the first one to go safely home to be with his Lord Jesus.
You are right when you said it is a privilege to take care of our husband it will always be a blessing to you.
God has been so faithful to the boys, He has been their Father and He has been a husband to me. Only Christians could understand this or even try.
His strength and faithfulness I would never had known without this in our lives. Tom. felt very blessed to have God purify him or refine him before He brought him home.
What God did in these last 2 years of Tom’s life will last for eternity.
We have a very awesome God, who is faithful and trustworthy, even when things don’t go the way our heart’s want them to.
May God be with all of you, as He will be, your in my prayers.
If you ever want to talk, Mary knows how to get a hold of me.
God Bless You All!
In Christ,
Kim
We are praying for you all! It was just yesterday that we met Josiah and his family at one of those Grandview Park Baptist in house home school days! What a bunch of cuties!
We ache also for you and your families in what you are going through but we are so thankful that Jesus is there comforting you and giving you all his peace and strength!
God Bless you all,
Renea and Jim Poyzer
We are on our knees praying for you to be surrounded with our Lord’s strength, peace & grace! We love you both SO VERY MUCH!
I will never understand why two people as truly amazing as the both of you are have suffered so greatly. I only wish I could be more like you Jessica. You both are an inspiration. In the brief times we’ve spent together and in what I’ve read through your postings I have the upmost respect and admiration for the both of you. I always hoped and prayed for a miracle, but that does not appear to be God’s will. I pray your whole family will be enveloped in God’s grace and love during this time. Josiah, you are the epitome of what all men should strive to be: an amazing Christian, a loving husband, and a gentle father. Thank you for blessing all of us with the time we’ve shared with you.
Love,
Kira and Lilly Bela
I am praying for all of you tonight and each time the Lord brings you to mind. Josiah, I am praying for comfort for you and that your pain would be controlled. Jess, I am praying for God’s strength to comfort you at this time. You both have been such an unbelievable encouragement to me and so many. The Mauseth family loves you guys and I know we are all praying for you! It looks like you had a great Christmas together. Thanks for sharing and may God guide and direct you in the days ahead.
Much love to you all,
Amanda Mauseth
You don’t know me, but I have been following your updates for a while now. I’m friends with a couple of people from Calvary Baptist Church in Colorado that know Josiah’s sister. For some reason God put you and your husband on my heart right in the middle of the day today, just out of the blue. I stopped what I was doing and prayed for you. It doesn’t seem that God is going to answer our prayers the way we want them this time. So I pray that God somehow gets you through this with His Mercy and Grace. And that He provides Josiah with comfort. It is a blessing to know that someday we will all meet together to worship God in heaven. May God bless you and your family.
Josiah and Jess,
We just want to say that we love you so much and you and your family have a very special place in our hearts. You both are an incredible example to us of what a godly husband and wife (and parents) should be. We prayed for you tonight and continually pray for you that the Lord would give you comfort during this difficult time. We are so glad you had a nice Christmas! You all are such a joy! 🙂 Sending love and hugs to you!! We love you!
Matt and Amy Ward
Josiah and Jess, thank you for your note. I think of you all VERY often during my days and want you to know your grief and feelings are SO widespread and hope that will bring Some comfort to you. I am upliftng you for strength each day. Yes, it’s not fair but God will be glorified as I see how you are handling this time. Sending love your way from all the Grant’s……Linda for all
Josiah and Jess, thank you for your note. I think of you all VERY often and want you to know your grief and feelings are SO widespread and hope that will bring Some comfort to you. I am lifting you up for strength each day. Yes, it’s not fair but God will be/ and already is glorified as I see you how you are handling this time. Sending love your way from all the Grant’s……Linda for all
Josiah,
I believe a person can be summed up not by what the world thinks of them but by the opinion of those who see them in their most private moments: their family members. I grew up with an older brother and a younger brother and believe me – I knew them for who they truly were. One thing I’ve noted about you through the years is the way your sister Bethany looks up to you. Many years ago she sang in a piddly little recital I had for my students at a small church in Carlisle. She was very young-maybe 14- and I think it was probably her first vocal recital. You came. You were in college, had Jess, a busy life of your own but YOU CAME. Bethany shown as she introduced you to me and I could tell she was very proud of you. A short while later she sang in a contest. Again, you came. To a young girl just coming into her own (I’ve been through that, so I know:-)) it meant everything to her self confidence that you loved her enough to come. She’s such a beautiful and confident and loving young woman and your support has so much to do with that. Big brothers can literally shape a little sister’s view of herself and I think you’ve been a huge blessing in her life. This world is a better place because of Bethany and the light that she shines so thanks for being such a big part of that. I am praying for God to heal you for this side, but if He chooses to do it for the other side then in honor of your love for Christ I’ll praise Him for your life. Finally – thanks for choosing Jess as a wife. You and your family are my only connection to her and she’s touched me and many of my friends and acquaintances with the wisdom and grace she lets Jesus shine through her. Thank you for sharing her with the rest of us. Give her a really big hug for all of her sisters our here in cyberspace. We love her an awful lot.
Dear Josiah,
You have been a strong soldier not only in the Lord’s army with your mighty witness of faith but also a very brave soldier in your battle with this enemy of sarcoma. Please take comfort in knowing that you have many prayer warriors right along side of you sending up petitions night and day to God the Father to ease your pain and for a miraculous healing if the Lord wills. You are an amazing young man walking by faith and accepting all of your trials without complaint and being a wonderful example to others. In this world full of so-called heroes (such as athletes, rock stars, celebrities, etc.): You are the one who truly can be called a HERO to look to as an example of how a godly young man should live! The Lord will someday say to you…”Well done, good and faithful servant…Enter into the joy of your Lord.” (Matthew 25:21) Your Uncle Tom and I are so thankful for you and your example to us and for being the sweet nephew that you are. We love you and your family so much….and we will continue to pray for all of you! Love, ~ Aunt Mona
Jessica…I have followed your blog these past few months; have prayed for you all…I know Mary through home schooling.
I am so sorry that you and Josiah have had so much suffering…But what I do know, is that both of you are living a life of faith and are such a witness to all of those around you.
Josiah…you are brave…and Jessica…you humble me…your sweet and courageous spirit is amazing.
Will continue to pray for you both…thank you for sharing your lives with us; through it all, you have truly blessed my life.
Sincerely,
Donna Hardin
Jess & Josiah,
I am so glad that you had a wonderful Christmas together….and now we are praying for you and your families as you continue to walk this path that God has chosen for you. We don’t understand, but we’ll just keep trusting that God’s ways are not our ways. You both are incredibly strong and your faith is an inspiration to all of us. We will continue to pray for peace and comfort. Josiah, rest in knowing that you have a Saviour who holds you closer than any of us ever could. What a joy in knowing we don’t have to fear death if we know HIM!! Jess, I hope you know that we are willing to help in any way that we can whenever you need us. We count it a priviledge to be in your lives.
Much love to all of you,
Stu & Judy
Jessica,
I’m praying the Lord will hold you up in His strong arms. You are so faithful and the Lord will always, ALWAYS be faithful to you. I’m praying you can put aside sadness and fear and just live these next few days with joy.
Much love,
Joanna
Jess-
Yesterday and today I have been praying hard-that God would wrap His arms so hard around you,that you could literally feel what the Psalmist describes in Ps 139 as being hedged behind and before-and that you would know that He is there. We love you guys. We are praying..
When everything is wrong
The day has passed and nothing’s done
And the whole world seems against me
When I’m rolling in my bed, there’s a storm in my head
I’m afraid of sinking in despair.
CHORUS:
Teach me, Lord to have faith
In what you’re bringing me will
Change my life and bring you glory and
There on the storm I am learning to let go
Of the will that I so long to control
There may I be in your arms eternally
I thank you, Lord, you are the calmer of the storm.
You rebuke the wind and the waves
Once again I find I’m amazed & the power of your will
Cuz I’m a child of little faith
I feel the wind and forget your grace
And you say, “Peace, be still.”
There on the storm I am learning to let go
The white wave’s high, it’s crashing o’er the deck
And I don’t know where I go
Where are you Lord, is my ship going down?
The mast is gone so throw the anchor
Should I jump and try to swim to land?
There on the storm, teach me God to understand
Of the Will that I just cannot control
There may I see all you love protecting me
I thank you Lord, you are the calmer of the storm.
“Calmer of the Storm” -Downhere
Praying for you guys!
Josiah,
We have been proud of you for being a good husband and father to some of our loved ones. It seems we have known you forever. The first time we met you Jacob’s graduation open house. You have been such a good example of faithfulness to so many. It is comforting to know we have a faithful God who will fulfill His promises to us. Jessica has been an encouragement to all as she shares her heart. Our pastor used you as an example of faithfulness and trust in
Him. We love you. Grandma and Grandpa Stephenson
Josiah and Jess,
We have never met but I am very very close friends with Bethany. I feel like I know you all. I have been following your blog and listening to Bethany alot… and your whole family amazes me. You are awesome people. I can’t imagine what you must be going through but my husband and I pray for you all every night. May our wonderful God bless you with peace and comfort in this time.
Love Breanne
Dear Josiah & Jess –
I want to share this memory with you. The day that brought us together – when Ava & Joey had their first heart surgery. I remember I was waiting for Joey to come up to the PICU from surgery and there was Josiah who had come into the waiting room (where you and your family spent countless days and nights). I recall seeing Josiah and thinking that he was a teenager just looking around – only to find out a little while later that this was precious Ava’s daddy. He was there with Ava and Jess was still being discharged from the other hospital. I smiled at Josiah and he smiled back and a short while later introductions were made. I could feel the love from your entire family as you invited us to share snacks and meals that were brought in over many days. And most of all the strength through faith in OUR LORD. I watched as you conquered battles – through Ava’s first surgery, her additional surgeries and getting your first home. It was through the smiles, prayers and some tears that made me admire you both even more. GOD truly blessed you with each other. Our love and prayers continue to be with your entire family. THANK YOU JOSIAH & JESS for allowing us to be a part of your family. We are here for you.
Josiah and Jess,
I don’t even know where to begin to share what I am feeling. I admire you both so much- your marriage, and your love for the LORD. You have inspired me so much. We have so enjoyed getting to know you as a “heart family” and visiting at family picnics and heart events. Then to have been blessed by God to send you to us in a time when we so desperately needed day care for our son. You know because you are parents, how much love you have for your children. I cannot begin to tell you how comforting it was to know our son was in the best of hands with you last year. We will never forget the love you showed him and us as you treated him like part of your family. That means more to us than you’ll ever know. I just want to say thank you for that, since I am at such a loss for words. Josiah, you are an amazing husband and father, and loved by so many. You are an inspiration to so many people. May you be comforted and at peace during such a difficult time. We are keeping you close in prayer. Andrew continues to pray for you (“Ava’s daddy” 🙂 every night and always will. May God wrap his loving arms around all of you.
Revelation 7:17 “For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”
Jen, Craig & Andrew
http://www.thehuegelfamily.blogspot.com
Josiah,
Truly you are one of the most amazing young men that I have ever had the priviledge to know. I say that more as a recognition and evidence of your love for our Savior and for your dedication to your family. I continue now, even in these moments, praying for complete healing for you, yet knowing that when you look upon your Lord you will be completely whole and filled beyond words with love for Him. Rest well dear friend.
Though I do not know you personally – I have known your parents since high school days @ UTHS. I have been following your journey with often a heavy heart and yet at times I am up-lifted by you both and how you handle yourselves with the grace and dignity beyond your young years here on this earth.
I lost my mother to cancer 15 yrs. ago and though I miss her daily I know she is with our heavenly father and in a far better place than I right now. Someday, I know I will see her again and meet my God face to face!
Just know that I and my husband Alex, pray for you daily and I think of you often. I firmly believe in miracles and that God can fully restore us!
May you both have peace and comfort knowing that our God does sustain us and he prepares us for a better place.
We hold you and the entire Johnson family in our hearts, thoughts and prayers…
~ Joyce Adams-LLaca
Jenny and I pray regularly and earnestly for you, the Johnson and Elson families. We are trusting in the sovereignty of our mighty God. As with many, we don’t understand God’s plan and purpose for the suffering experienced by Josiah and Jessica. Our hearts ache as we sense and try to understand the pain and sadness brought on by the cancer.
We rejoice, however, in the confidence that Jessica and Josiah have in Christ our Saviour. I vividly remember Josiah and Jessica’s wedding rehearsal dinner just a few short years ago. It was a night of hope and encouragement, followed by a beautiful wedding. God created a wonderful family….one with eternal hope and faith in his promises. We love you all.
Kurt & Jenny Subra
God’s love has certainly shone through you and blessed all those that have had the privilege to be a part of your life. Thanks for sharing that Love with us all, from the time Conner was 2 years old to now…he is 16. Am lifting you and your family up in prayer and sending heartfelt hugs to each of you.
Our dear Josiah,
We hope you can still hear our message to you as our computers have been down all weekend so I am just being able to check the blog this morning at work. We are praying for you to have a peaceful journey home to be with our Lord where we know you will definitely have no more pain. We would love to see you again but are thankful for your sweet phone call last Monday. Your arrival in heaven before us gives us even more of a disconnect to this earthly life. This truly is not our home but heaven is and with loved ones there to greet us we will long all that much more to leave this world behind also and not get bogged down in its allurements. We love you so much and as I have shared with you our family get togethers will never be the same without you but we also feel so blessed that the Lord chose to place you in our family 27 years ago. We have built a lot of memories that we have to cherish and will never forget. Until we meet again dear one, all our love.
Uncle Doug & Aunt Karan
Jess, thank you for so courageously and graciously sharing this difficult time with us. I will continue to pray for every aspect of your life–for a miracle, for strength for all, for joyous, happy times, for wisdom and peace, for detailed memories for your children to cherish if the Lord chooses not to heal, for protection and provision for your family, for the details that you may not have even thought about. There are no words that I can say that, I’m sure, haven’t already been spoken for your peace and comfort. Only know that I will continue to uphold Josiah, your family, and you before our loving Lord. Much love and prayers, Jen
I hope I am not too late to express my love to you and Jess and your two children.
You have been a special nephew to me since from the time you were born. Our two families were like one and we spent together much precious time for birthdays and vacations and for no other reason than to get together.
The times most precious to me were the fishing and hunting trips that you, your dad, Uriah, Micah and I spent together. I am sorry that I did not talk with you the other night when you called; I assumed that I would see you soon and I would rather talk to you in person anyway.
You and Jess and your journey together in this life have been an inspiration to all the Johnsons. I was so glad that you were able to have Christmas together at your Mom and Dad’s and your health allowed you to participate that day.
On a personal note, you two have caused me to seriously review my spiritual condition. I have been asking myself, Am I ready to meet the Lord in the air? I have to be honest, I don’t think I am. I am a Christian, but a luke warm one at best. You two inspire me to reach out to the Lord in a new way. Please pray for me, that my zeal for the Lord grows.
I thank the Lord for you two for your commitment to each other and to the Lord. I hope to see you soon, either on this side or the other.
I Love You Josiah and Jess,
Uncle Doug.
Dear Josiah & Jess,
I know it’s been years since we went ice skating on your (Josiah’s) parent’s pond and were together at Aubrie’s birthday parties, homeschool groups, etc, but I will always remember what a nice guy you were & are. Always respectful and kind. I wish our families had done more together as the years went by, but I’m thankful for the times I enjoyed at your folk’s relaxing home. I’ve followed Ava’s story & seen what a great husband & daddy you are Josiah, without even being around you in person it is clear. I consider it an honor to know such a sweet, Godly family!
My heart aches for all both of you are going through…I have learned so much from your posts Jess, even tho I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting you, your faith and love radiates pure and strong. Some things in life are hard to understand, but I know that our God is great and will lead you through whatever lies ahead. I will continue to lift all of you up in earnest prayer, oft time in tears. You and I are the same age, Jess, I just feel for you so. May the Lord encourage, sustain, comfort & carry you with peace & love.
May God bless you both, we’re praying for you,
Beth (Leggett) Duckstein
We learned about your difficult time through Mary Johnson, and I have been praying for God’s sustaining grace for you. Please be assured of my continued prayers.
James D. Maxwell
Faith Baptist Bible College & Seminary
Josiah,
The times we had in the ol’ Ankeny office were some of the funnest times I’ve ever had “working”. I know that your amazing faith have influenced lots of us to try to work harder to be better Christians. You are just a great person. The things you’ve gotten through and the way you’ve maintained your strength as a father and husband is an inspiration. I know I speak on behalf of many more when I say that my family has been and continue to will be praying for your and your family. Love you buddy