Josiah took a turn for the worse last night. I think his body is just wearing out. We dialed back on his pain meds a little yesterday so his mind is clearer…I’m so thankful for that. He has pretty much been asleep since midnight…he seems peaceful. I am trying hard to make wise decisions in keeping him comfortable. That is my main goal right now. It’s proving to be a hard adjustment to make decisions without discussing it with Josiah first. We have always been each other’s sounding boards and we trust each other’s judgment so much. I am missing that already. He continues to be so precious and tells me he loves me in all his awake moments. He still has his sense of humor…he proved that earlier today. He can make me laugh like no one else can…I miss that too.
God continues to give me peace…even in the midst of my heartbreak. Josiah is ready to go Home…and as much as I can be…I am ready for him to go too. God’s grace is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9)…not too much grace, not too little…just enough. That promise is precious to me today.
Beautiful Things 
Jess,
I used to work with Josiah at the Wells Fargo Financial branch in Ankeny. My son was born shortly after Ava. I can’t put into words how kind, hard working, and determined Josiah was while working with him. He is a great guy and was a awesome teammate.
My heart is breaking in millions of pieces as I read your blog. You are an amazing woman with a heart of gold truly touched by God. I am thinking of you, even though I may not know you I cry for you and your two beautiful children. Through reading your blog you are one awesome and amazing woman, wife, and mother.
God bless.
Praying for peace and comfort for all. Hugs to you, Jess, BIG ones..all the way from D.C. My heart is with you all.
Praying for God’s presence to be very real, and His strength to uphold you now.
Praying that God gives you strength and peace, and that he holds your heart together. Love you.
I hope you feel everyones prayers with you now… your stregnth and relationship with God amazes me everytime you write a post. Sending peaceful thoughts… Erin
Praying for your family….hoping you feel those prayers & that God will give you both the strength you need. Your words are so true even in your most difficult of times….God’s grace is sufficient.
In HIS Grip,
Emily for her boys
praying today Jess. praying that our God will wrap His arms around you and hold you so so so close. He is near the broken hearted and near those crushed in spirit. i love you friend-very much.
God just reminded me that amidst all the earthly prayers being lifted for Josiah, his very Savior has been praying him through this whole time. Way more faithfully and consistently than I can. Praise God we have a Savior who prays for us. Those must be some powerful prayers.
When you pray He will either strengthen your shoulders, or lighten your load.
Your family is in our prayers
Breath of Heaven
hold me together
be forever near me
Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven
Light in my darkness
pour over me Your holiness
for You are holy.
Do you wonder as you watch my face
if a wiser one should have had my place?
But i offer all i am
for the mercy of Your plan–
help me be strong
help me be
help me
Praying and knowing that God is your help. He is your Hiding Place. Holding you before the throne, precious ones!
praying and hoping and praying
Our God never changes. He will provide you love, strength and comfort, as He has yesterday, today, and will tomorrow. We love you and are lifting you and your family in our prayers.
Hey Jess, Josiah, & Family – Still loving & praying for all of you! God bless you all! Tabitha
Continuing to lift you all before the Father
There is only one word that comes to my mind to say to you, is we LOVE you and we know that Josiah is going to God soon and we will miss him. Know our thoughts, prayers, and love is with you always yesterday, today, and all the tomorrows that will be. God will ALWAYS be there for you and your family and I know that Josiah will ALWAYS be with you and your family. Aunt Debi 😦
Praying for you Jess as you make these decisions. We love you and continue to pray for your family…..all of you.
Oh Jess…there are no words…continuing to pray…
Jess and Josiah,
I am and have been praying for you. We have not met, but the last time I saw Josiah he was playing guitar for Bethany at her concert at Grace West in WDM. What a joy to see Dennis, Josiah and Bethany praising the Lord together! What a memory to treasure. I wish I had a brother who would be there for me like Josiah was for her.
Lord, continue to pour Your peace, strength, comfort and love into the Johnson family each moment of each day.
I have no words. I’m praying and wish I could hug you.
Jessie, Josiah…and family…we are continually praying for your strength and guidance…bless you. Donna Hardin
Your family has been such great testimonies and witnesses of God’s grace and love. We continue to pray for you, Jess, as you have so many decisions to make and for Josiah to not have to suffer here on earth too much longer as we know he’ll have a new body in heaven and I know that you want what’s best for him too. God is calling him home to Him and God will continue to watch over you and your precious children too. We’ve never met in person, but I’ve heard so many great things about you and your family and I’ve read them too. God bless you all and wrap his arms around you all for comfort, strength, love and grace. God bless you and your lovely family! I’m a friend of your cousins from the P’ville/Lancaster area. God cares for you.
I’m Praying Jess. Echoing all the prayers that are going up here on the blog in the other posts. “His grace is enough, His grace is enough, His grace is enough for me.” I’m not asking Him to give you grace, I’m thanking Him that He has, that He is and that He will. His grace is enough. And in agreement with the girl above, thank You Jesus that You are praying for Jess and Josiah so much more faithfully than any of us. Thank You for Your grace toward us. Thank You for Josiah’s life. Thank You for Jessica’s belief in Your grace. Thank You Jesus. We love You.
Josiah…I love you…we love you! I can’t put into words how my heart feels right now. I wish I could witness the smile and joy on your face when you walk the streets of gold and meet our faith heros in person! I can’t wait for the day when we will all be joined together again so the ‘cousin gang’ can be complete! Jess…fervent, tearful prayers are being sent to our merciful Savior for you! I so wish I could be there to give you a huge hug! You are an amazing woman!!! I love you…we love you!
JUST TWO OF THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN MY FAMILY:
MY COUSIN SPIDER BECKER WAS IN THE NURSEING HOME IN FENNIMORE, HIS WIFE PAT CAME EVERY DAY TO VISIT HIM. THIS ONE DAY AS SHE ENTERED THE ROOM HE WAS REACHING UP FOR SOMETHING. SHE ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS REACHING FOR , HE SAID MY SISTER AND HER FRIEND.( HIS SISTER HAD DIED A YEAR OR SO BEFORE) PAT TOLD HIM THAT THEY PROBLEY CAME FOR HIM AND IF HE WANTED TO GO IT WAS OK. ABOUT A WEEK LATER HE PASSED.
THEN MY DAUGHTER IN LAWS NEPHEW 27, ALSO HAD CANCER AND HE WAS IN THE HOSPIS , ONE DAY WHEN HIS FAMILY CAME TO SEE HIM, HE SAID THE STRANGEST THING HAPPENED, I SAW GRANDMA( SHE HAD DIED ALSO A YEAR OR SO BEFORE) AND HE SOON JOINED HER .
THESE AND OTHER HAPPENINGS HAVE BEEN PROOF TO ME THAT THERE IS AN OTHER SIDE AND WE WILL ALL BE THERE SOME DAY WITH OUR LOVED ONES,
GO TO UTUBE AND TYPE IN JOE NICHOLES SINGING ( ILL WAIT FOR YOU,) I THINK YOU WILL ENJOY IT.
I HAVE HAD JOSIAH IN MY PRAYER EVER SINCE SARAH JOHNSON TOLD ME ABOUT HIM & I SE, AND ILL KEEP DOING SO TOO.
GOD BLESS MARGE
Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and give your angels charge over those who sleep.
Tend your sick ones, O Lord Christ.
Rest your weary ones.
Bless your dying ones.
Soothe your suffering ones.
Pity your afflicted ones.
Shield your joyous ones.
And for all your love’s sake.
Amen.
Jess & Josiah,
I too can not put into words how I feel right now after just checking the blog for the first time since yesterday afternoon so I guess I will just dito what daughter Sarah said. You know the deep, deep love we have for you Josiah and what a privilege & blessing it has been for the Lord to have placed you in our family. We truly will long for the day when we will be reunited with you & our beautiful Savior Jesus. Truly this world is not our home and heaven becomes more precious every day. Jessica, you are and will continue to be such a living testimony of the living Word of God. We love you so much and are so thankful for the wonderful helpmeet God provided for our nephew! Thank you for being there for him and giving him such wonderful care. We hope you know we will always be here for you in the days ahead. Love & hugs to you all!
Aunt Karan & Uncle Doug
Jess, words cannot express our hearts for your family right now. Praying and trusting that the Lord will uphold you as only He can right now. I love you!
You’re Beautiful by Phil Wickham
I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful
I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful
When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
on our knees…praying, praying, praying
PRAYING. Remember that the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that can not be heard. Praise God!!
Maggie and I are praying for you and your family.
Tears are in my eyes for a young man I never met. Jess, your love for each other and ability to articulate your feelings, day by day, will be a gift to your precious children throughout their lives. They will always know their dear father, through your words and steadfast devotion.
Blessings and comfort to you as you deal with his loss. God will be your comfort and the father to your precious children. He fought so bravely and you all stood in the gap so bravely; what a testimony to God’s grace!
I am another person praying that you don’t know. Your story has touched many, many lives. I am Stephany Reeves sister-in-law. I have been thinking of you every day, often in the middle of the night. I have this song on my heart….Sailing on the Ships of Heaven. Below is the link. My heart aches for you, words cannot make that better. Know that I and many other are lifting you up in prayer.
In His Name,
Michelle
Working with Josiah was a great experience. We will share in his example of strength, kindness, and courage as we continue to work together and as we create new teams in the future. He gave his best even in times where some may have been at their worst.