I think it could probably take a hundred posts to catch up on this title…but I’ll start here…
I’ve been contemplating what my relationship with God looks like…and actually viewing it as a “relationship”. Maybe that sounds redundant…but it’s been profound to me. Let me try to explain. Think about any other human relationship that you have and imagine that you consistently put your desires over theirs. Imagine that you rarely spent any time with them…not because you didn’t have the time but because you put everything and everyone else above them. Imagine that when you did spend time listening to them you were so distracted that you barely took in a word and every time you talked with them you fell asleep or got sidetracked with your to-do list running through your mind. Imagine that this person loved you enough to give up everything for you and you were not content with that…nope, you needed more. Imagine you cheated on this person over and over and every time you got your heart-broken, you ran back to the one you knew loved you. Now imagine this person taking you back every time…forgiving you every time without a thought…loved you completely just the way you were, despite your wayward thoughts and disinterestedness (and yes, that is a real word). I know NO such human relationship. It’s not possible because our love does have limits and our feelings get hurt and we are selfish to the core. But my relationship with the One who made me looks like this. Why is it that I can treat the human relationships around me with more care then the one I have with the God of the universe? Who’s favor and love is so much more desirable than any other? How is it that I, of all people, who have been at my breaking point over and over and had nothing left but my cries to Him for help, can so easily look away. I can be so lazy in this relationship…so unwilling to put in the effort it takes to not only keep it close, but make it grow.
Like I said, I am learning about this relationship. I am learning that when I tell my daughter that she can talk to Jesus about anything and everything, that I really need to mean it in my own life. That even though my Savior knows every single thought of my mind and motive of my heart He LOVES it when I turn my gaze to Him and actually talk to Him. His desire for that communication humbles me to my very core. Why on earth would He want to hear from ME? It’s because His love for me is something I cannot comprehend…but it should bring such awe to my very soul that my desire for that communication grows stronger, not weaker.
Oh Lord,
Change my heart! You, and You alone are all. that. I. need. End of story. Help me to truly believe that so that no lie can penetrate it. Strengthen my faith. Fill me with hope. Help me to overflow with Your joy and love. I know that to know You and to be more like You, I need to spend time with you….help me to put that knowledge into action.
This song pretty much sums it up:
Beautiful Things 
Amen! Thanks for reminding me!
Sobering words with deep truth—-wisdom from above. I will keep a copy in my Bible to remember. Truly without Him, we are nothing. Appreciate your challenging all of us to go deeper.
Thanks for sharing that. I needed the reminder.
Thank you for sharing your heart…your journal is so beautiful and life changing-for all of us. Thank you so much for your honesty! PRaise the Lord for what He is doing in your heart…and may He do a mighty work in all of our hearts, because we all need it.
Thanks Jessica….I needed to hear that TODAY!!
Wow! I needed to read that!
The depth of a relationship is measured by the secret-ness of the secrets we share with the other individual. With that in mind, look at what Jesus did with the woman at the well. Remember that He offered her living water which is, I believe, synonymous with the eternal life spoken of throughout the gospel. Then look at the secret He shared with her. She asked about worship, where it ought to be done. This was a burning question in her mind because if she had to go to Jerusalem, would she ever be able to worship God? For the Jews have no dealings with Samaritans – would they ever allow her near the temple? Out of compassion and love, Jesus shares with her a secret which Paul describes in Ephesians as one that had been kept hidden from the foundation of the world. He had not even told His disciples. He told her the temple in Jerusalem would not always be the place to worship but that God would be looking for people who do not worship based on a location, but worship in spirit and in truth. He alluded to the church. Such a secret He shared with her!
Now, see what He did: He opened Himself up to her in a real relationship, where He was willing to share deep secrets with her.
Think of what this meant: He offered her living water, i.e., eternal life. Remember that we are told Eternal Life is to know God. How can we know God except He open Himself up to us as He did to the woman at the well? Does He do this to us? Sure He does. The next time you are reading your bible and a verse jumps out at you displaying a truth you had never noticed before, then realize that God is opening Himself up to you and sharing a secret. This is eternal life, to know God and Jesus Christ whom He sent (Jn 17:3).
And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us an understanding, that we may know Him who is true: and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life (1Jn 5:20)
[sorry for being so long winded]
Jessica, I know this feeling, I have and been there, and still go through it (I hope we all do). I have found when I cry out to God, he is showing us our weakness. How humbling to us, but yet how amazing is our God! He is doing a mighty work in us, and the Holy Spirit is at work! Through this we grow, he is nurturing us, and lovingly holding us. Seeking the face of God who is always there waiting for us! There is nothing more powerful than our communion with our God! Thank you for sharing!
I read this saturday night, felt the exact same way. I have idolized so many things; facebook, taking pictures, my children, working out and I am so thirsty to know God more but it seems sometimes I just can’t get control of these things.
Heard that song for the first time here on your blog. They played it for the first time in church Sunday. 🙂 God thing. Thank you!
Jess, thanks so much for this reminder. I’ve been very consumed with human relationships lately and haven’t been as comsumed with relationship with my Savior. I needed this. In fact I’m going on a walk after work to have some alone/prayer time with Him. Love you and praying for you.
Jess, It has been a while, but once again you blow me away with your depth in this life journey that you are traveling. If we could get it at your age, when you get to be my age you would really walk by faith, not by sight. God truly does work all things for our good. Define good . . . His Word is TRUE, so we must believe it and make it the entire reason for what we do or say, in everything. You are such a blessing. Keep thinking the way He wants us to think. The rewards will be indescribable. Peace, joy, hope – priceless!!! Someday He will make ALL things new. Oh glorious day! Keep smiling and trusting. Jesus NEVER fails.
You truly are an inspiration. You have such a way with putting your thoughts down and letting it all out. You speak so honestly and openly. I listened to that song for the first time on your blog, it is so true. It’s a wonderful song.
We continue to think about you and pray for you often. I check your blog pretty often to see how you and the kids are doing. The kids are growing so fast. Thanks for all your heartfelt posts!!
Love,
Carrie, Michael, Mason & Emma Sauers
Jess…
It has been awhile since I have been here. I had to catch up on about six entries. The pictures of the children are always a blessing to see….they are just adorable!!!
It is so easy to let the most important relationship slide, fall away, forget…you are not the only one. I struggle with this daily. An empty nester has much to do…we lost our help in raising you to fly. It gets overwhelming sometimes, just like you.
But God….isn’t that a great phrase….but, God….
is all you mentioned and more. He is faithful, He is good, He is there when we remember.
Thanks for the challenge. You are the best!!!
I cannot believe I forgot…I guess I am so focused on what you wrote….
Continuing to pray….as always!!