“For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him.  Therefore I also have lent {her} to the Lord; as long as {she} lives {she} shall be lent to the Lord.”  1 Samuel 1:27-28

My Ava is FIVE today!  Five.  FIVE!  I just can’t believe it.  We were told when she was tiny that by the time she was five that she would have “caught up”.  That we wouldn’t even be able to tell her eventful beginning.  That we wouldn’t be able to pick her out of a crowd as the “heart kid”.  And I remember, my mind couldn’t even go there…it seemed SO far away and almost unattainable.  I remember sitting in her hospital room day after exhausting day, and I didn’t plan her future, I planned her funeral.  There were so many days when I honestly didn’t think she would get this far and I learned to be content and grateful for each day we were given.  Taking one day at a time became my lifestyle.  And now here we are…five!  And I get to think about kindergarten, and ballet classes, and swimming lessons, and growing up, and…well, the options seem limitless now!  Oh, my heart is just bursting!  So many tears, so many prayers for her precious little broken heart to keep beating, and for her tiny damaged lungs to keep breathing…just simply for her to live.  And God in His abundant mercy and unwavering grace, reached down and touched my frail baby and gave her new life.  And not only does Ava live…she LIVES!  So much passion, so much energy, so much abundant life coursing through her veins every single day.  And maybe I’ve given her too much freedom at times, but it never ceases to do my heart good to see her run like the wind with such abandon.  This child, who has had her share of suffering and sadness, and yet still lives each day with wonder and excitement and pure joy.  I can’t help but smile and stand amazed at this crazy little miracle that I am beyond blessed to have call me “Mom”.  Such a precious treasure.  Such a jewel.

So, I try to remember to drink in every 1,000 watt smile.  To laugh at every infectious giggle.  To celebrate every mile stone.  To kiss every owie.  To listen to every accomplishment and every heart ache.  To memorize the sweet sleepy smile on her face when I cover her up at night and softly kiss her cheek.  And I remember to not overlook how her hands, once chubby and dimpled, are now slender and beautiful.  I stare into those blue eyes…oh, those eyes that would melt a heart of stone and that see into my soul…and I see Jesus at work in her life.  I listen to her precious prayers where she pours out her heart with such reverence and my heart leaps with joy.  I wipe the tears that fall quietly down her soft baby face, that at times looks like an old woman, and while my heart bleeds for her hurts, I stand in awe of what the Lord has done and will do in her life.  She has God-given wisdom beyond her years, such compassion for the hurting, and plenty of self-centered sin…and I plead with the Lord to draw her to Himself.  That no matter the cost, that He would use her passion and her spared life for His glory.  That she would learn to love and obey Christ with complete abandon (as she does EVERYTHING).  That she would not see her life as one of entitlement, but that she would grasp that to much that has been given, much will be required (Luke 12:48).  She has been given much.  She has been given LIFE…what is she to do but offer her all back to the One who gave it to her.  Those are my big dreams for her future…a future that I can now allow myself to dream is possible.  Oh, it is good!

I love you my sweet daughter of my heart!  I couldn’t be more proud of you.  You and me…we are gonna celebrate today!  I can’t wait 🙂

Love, Momma