The last month has been a little crazy around here.  I’m planning a catch-up post soon…ish…we’ll see 🙂  I did want to document a very special day we had last week though.  Last Tuesday, August 16th, was Josiah’s birthday.  He would have been 29.  I miss him everyday, but I feel like I miss him more on “special” days.  I so missed razing him about it being the last year in his twenties 🙂  I missed celebrating with him.  I miss him waking up and saying “it’s my birthday!” every day this month.  I missed being together as a family of four and enjoying the day together.  But even though he wasn’t there, we celebrated Daddy’s special day, just the three of us.  It was hard, but I loved planning a special day for the kids and I loved talking to them about their Daddy, and I loved the pure excitement in their eyes because birthdays are still a big deal to them.  I truly believe that the Lord brings ideas to my mind to help me plan these days…He is so good to do that.  I find it a little easier if I have somewhat of a plan.  I think it just gives me something else to think about and also something to look forward to.

About a week before his birthday, I had this idea and God worked it out to become possible.  Josiah had recorded special messages for both kids before he died.  They had never heard them and actually, I had not listened to them since Josiah recorded them.  My idea was to use those recordings to somehow put them in a snuggly toy so the kids could hear an affirming message from their Dad whenever they wanted.

I thought of trying *Build-A-Bear* and I made a trip there the week before without the kids to buy the little recorders.  That way I had the messages all ready to go when we left the house on Tuesday.  The kids had no idea what was planned and Ava especially was so excited when we arrived at *Build-A-Bear*!  They picked out their animals (Lincoln needed just a little direction from Mom) and even though it was crazy busy there, we had fun making their special “Daddy bears” (well, a bunny and a puppy if you want to be specific).

The kids were very proud and so good about carrying the giant boxes their animals were sent home in, cause this Momma did not think through how many hands I would need for this trip 🙂

We then stopped for lunch…yummy!

Of course we had to make a pit-stop (thank you God for the Family restroom!),

and then this Momma treated herself to a* Starbucks*…I know you’re all shocked 🙂

After Momma was armed with her cup of sanity, the play-place was next on the agenda and even though it was evidently the place to be that day, we persevered.

We thoroughly enjoyed our time and then managed to all get back to the car in one piece…one mom, two overly excited and now tired children, one stroller, and two *Build-A-Bear* boxes…we were a sight I’m sure 🙂  Ava listened to her special message from her Daddy about 20 times on the way home.  So special and heartbreaking all at the same time.

Naptime when we got home.  Not sure who was the most worn out.  After the kids woke up, we bought some balloons and headed for the cemetery.  Ava’s been talking for a whole year about how we let balloons go at Daddy’s grave, so I think it’s now a tradition.  They each got to pick out their color of balloon…pink and blue, very typical.  When I asked Ava what color I should get she said, “Ummm…yellow.  Because it’s the color of a smiley face”.  I love her!

We pulled into the cemetery and I nearly lost it for the first time that day.  But the kids were so excited so I put the tears away.  We sang Happy Birthday to Daddy and then let go of our balloons.  Ava and I had a long conversation about why we do that…that’s kinda hard to explain to a five year old, but I did my best 🙂

We walked around a bit and then headed to the store to buy a cake because I hadn’t planned that ahead of time.  At the store I couldn’t find anything that Linc could eat (darn food allergies), but in a stroke of genius…ahem…I bought a bag of giant marshmallows, stuck a couple of candles in them, and the kids were pleased as punch.

Easiest. Cake. Ever.  And such a blessing from God as I don’t think I had it in me to bake a cake.  I was emotionally and physically exhausted…but in a good way if that makes any sense 🙂

The only thing we didn’t have time for was watching the special videos Josiah made for the kids.  But we decided that saving something for the next day would be special too.  Kind of last minute my lovely sisters-in-law came over as the kids were going to bed and we had a great time gabbing and laughing together…I definitely needed that!

We really had such a fun day together and I could see the Lord’s blessings on us.  These days are hard, but I also know there are so many people praying us through and that is incredible.

Happy Birthday my Man!  I just can’t wait to celebrate with you.  We love you.  See you soon.