(Wow!  Thank you all for your wonderful response to my story so far!  Such a blessing!  Is it bad that I’m kinda enjoying keeping you all in suspense?)

The next day I thought a lot about the conversation D and I had started and how I should respond to it.  That night we started texting as had become our normal and D asked me if I had thought any more about the questions he had asked.  And I played it cool and said “what questions?”  Just kidding.  I told him that I had thought about it a lot and then I told him I didn’t really think it would be a good idea for us to “accidentally meet”.  He asked why I thought that and I replied with “because to me it sounds like a date”.  When I said that, I thought I was probably way off and he would probably reply with something like “no no no…not a date at all.  Just a couple of pals getting together for coffee.  Simple as that.”  I was still a little naive at this point.  What I didn’t know was that D took it as an encouraging sign that I was even thinking about a date with him.  He replied by saying it wouldn’t have to be a date but that he would really really like a date with me.

Say what?

Ummmm….

[looooong pause]

He then asked me if I was ok to which I very maturely responded that I was fine, just freaking out a little…or a lot.  Because, while I wasn’t completely surprised by his interest, I had not been allowing my mind to even go there because the ball was not in my court.  So it was a bit of a shock….or a lot.

We kept texting, with D mostly making sure I was ok and me taking a long time to respond.  Eventually D asked me another question.  He asked me if I would like him to give me space to think and pray.  He offered to completely stop communicating with me until I contacted him.  As soon as he asked me that I was relieved because that was exactly what I needed but I just didn’t even know how to ask.  So I took him up on his offer.  But before we stopped communication, we agreed that me taking a long time to decide would not be wise and I also promised him I would keep him up to date with what I was thinking and feeling.

Once we got all that figured out I asked him if this was “over and out?”  D replied with:

“Jess, Lord willing we’re not over or out…we’re just on pause”

I went to bed and my heart was pounding and my brain was spinning so fast!  I’m not sure if I really slept at all that night.  I was seeing every angle and asking every question all at once.  But my prayer became “Lord, please give me clarity!  Please just give me some clarity because I am ALL over the place right now”.  And it was like in all the swirling in my brain, one thought rose to the surface and remained steady…

you need to meet with him face to face

At the time I had no idea why that was my one clear thought but I was just thankful that God answered my prayer.  I decided to “sleep” (Ha!) on it and give it the next day to test if that really was from the Lord.  That next day my heart kept pounding and I could hardly eat a thing…but deep down I had this tremendous peace and was able to carry on as normal without breathing a word to anyone.  I wanted…no…I needed to hear from God first so I kept it to myself.

That night I would get one confirmation that was the start of a steady stream of confirmations of God’s leading.

……………………………………………………..

Yep…I’m enjoying this waaaay too much 🙂  To be continued…