My heart was pounding…or maybe it stopped just for a second. I was trying not to hold my breath as she gently rubbed the wand on my slightly swollen belly, but it felt like time was standing still. I had been here before. I had heard that beautiful sound twice before, but I had also been there when there was none…both for myself and for my mother when I was a child.
So, I waited….and then….I heard it. That beautiful rhythmic sound of my unborn child growing strong inside of me, and a weight was lifted off my chest. My heart rejoiced and breathed a silent thank-you to the One who created this life inside of me. Nerves were gone. Worry satisfied. And the smile that wouldn’t leave my face was an indicator of the peace in my heart.
When I got back into my car, the events that just happened washed over me again. My eyes filled with tears…joyful tears…as I again thanked the Giver of Life for such a precious gift.
At 13 weeks gestation, our baby already has fingerprints.
And they are already imprinted on my heart.
I never thought I would ever experience this again, and my heart has been content with that for the past three years. I will admit that my initial response to this new addition was less than great. I was overwhelmed…even more than I am already on a daily basis. I was in shock. I mean, I thought we might have another child…someday…but now? I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God’s timing is always perfect, even when we don’t understand it. And I have been through a lot of His timing that I don’t understand. But I choose to trust Him. So…God worked in me and I slowly let go of control and released my plans. Excitement grew, along with the nausea and exhaustion. Not gonna lie, it’s been a rough couple months. The love…well the love I have for this child has never faltered…but it has grown.
While this child may be a surprise to us (and the Lord knows I don’t always handle surprises well)…every beat of this baby’s heart and every second of this baby’s life, was ordained before the beginning of time by the One who loves my baby more than I can even imagine.
Expectantly waiting to meet #5 coming this Spring!
Beautiful Things 
Wow! A new husband AND a new baby! You are so blessed!!!!! I am very happy for you. I hope it helps that you have what I wish I could have. God counted you faithful and worthy to raise another child for Him and serve and satisfy another husband for Him. Hallelujah! 🙂
Beautifully put. I rejoice with you.
Congratulations! Gods timing is always so much better than ours! We just have to trust Him about it. So happy for your entire family. (And hoping you feel better soon!)
Oh, how good it is to read your writing again! Beautifully written! I’m so excited for your family, and so thankful that this is another picture of God’s goodness to you. Congratulations, dear friend! You are an incredible mama, and this baby is blessed to have you!
Jessica,
Congrats. I have never met you yet have been following your blog since the beginning. I am related to the Bairs. I am Lucas’s cousin. I just love this and am so happy for you and Dustin. I have also requested to be friends with you on fb so I can follow you and you family. I have meet Dustin when I visited with the Bairs before they left for Brazil. Many blessing as you embark on another new journey
Congratulations! Another chapter beautifully written.