I would like to introduce my sonWeston James Rankin

Born May 3, 2013  3:18pm

7 pounds 6 ounces 20 inches

Yes.  He is the cutest baby on the planet.  And yes, he is a month old (crazy!) and I am finally getting around to writing about him.  But true to form, his birth was not without some drama.  I can’t seem to have a baby without a story.

(To preface this story, Weston and I are fine.  Just enough drama for a blog post, not to cause worry.)My due date (April 29th) came and went and little Mr. was perfectly content to stay where he was.  What can I say, I make a good oven.  Three days later I went in for an appointment and ultrasound.  Everything looked good.  Found out I was carrying some extra fluid.  Quite a bit of extra fluid.  And baby was measuring big.  Both were totally opposite issues than I have experienced before.  There were some potential complications due to the extra fluid and I was already past due, so we decided to induce the next day.I was pretty bummed about being induced again (I was with my other two labors as well), but I was at peace with it.  Dustin and I made plans for the kids, finished packing our bags, and had a nice evening together.

The next morning we got up nice and early and headed to the hospital.

Oh, and did I mention it was May 3rd and we were in the middle of a snow storm?Anyway…

We got to the hospital, checked in, got settled in our room, and started the dreaded pitocin drip.  After about five hours my doctor decided to break my water.  When they broke my water, the cord went below Weston’s head and with every contraction I had after that, his heart rate dropped.

I’ll spare you a bunch of details but trust me when I say they don’t mess around when something like that happens.  I was wheeled into an emergency c-section at 3:12 and a screaming Weston was born at 3:18.Going into surgery so many thoughts were swirling in my mind.  I was scared.  I don’t take for granted that everything is just going to be ok anymore.  I also didn’t hesitate to do whatever I needed for my baby.  But that’s just motherhood.I was also thinking that, because I was being put under general anesthesia, I wasn’t going to be awake when my baby was born.  And I still kinda hate that I missed that.  During this pregnancy I have had a short list of specific prayer requests.  One of them being that I would be able to bond with Weston right away.  Maybe that sounds like a strange request to some, but it was very important to me.  My whole pregnancy was difficult.  Plus, with four children already, it was also incredibly busy.  I felt like there was so much on my plate that I didn’t really have the time or the energy to put a lot of focus on my baby.  I loved him.  No question about that.  But I wanted that euphoric moment right after a baby is born and you get to see them for the first time, so very badly.  I know what it feels like to not bond with your baby right away, and I didn’t want to experience that again.

But God answered my prayer anyway!  After I woke up, my first question was if my baby was ok.  Dustin assured me that he was doing great and showed me a picture.  I was so emotional and I wanted to see my baby so badly, but I was also in a lot of pain and spent the rest of the day trying to get control of that.  Weston was being monitored closely and needed some oxygen for a while.  That night I just couldn’t hold it together any longer.  I needed to see my baby.  I had lived through not being able to see or hold my baby before and while my head knew this was a completely different experience, my heart just couldn’t take it.  I found out later that my wonderful husband had already stopped by the nursery and made it clear that his wife needed to see her baby.  I also had a very supportive nurse and between the two of them I got my moment that night.  Different than I had anticipated but every bit as magical.My heart was completely bonded with him before I even saw him.He is the surprise gift I didn’t know I wanted.I am forever thankful that God’s ways are perfect.

I am forever thankful that God knows exactly what I need.

And maybe it’s because he’s a fifth child and I know how fast these years go.  And maybe it’s because I know that life is not a guarantee.  And maybe it’s because I’m a few years older and a little wiser.  And maybe it’s just an answer to my prayer because God knew that I would need to be so in love with this little guy to help me deal with the extra craziness that is my life.Whatever the reason, I know that I am totally soaking up every moment with my sweet baby like I have never done before.  God orchestrated a lot for his little life to happen.And he is a precious gift.